For years, I experienced cognitive dissonance because I wanted to accomplish so much but felt unable to actually do anything. I knew I wanted to write, but I always seemed to have a reason not to. Most of the time, the reason was that I was too tired from work, so I would fantasize about escaping the corporate machine to immerse myself in my craft and other passion projects. I would also dream about freelancing so I could be my own boss, but I knew from experience that the freelancer life wasn’t for me.

So if neither freelancing nor quitting my day job were the answer, what was? This just made me feel more stuck, and for a while, I kind of made myself miserable wishing things were different but not knowing how to do what I wanted. Then I figured out 2 important things that enabled me to make changes and live in alignment with what’s important to me.

First, I figured out how to live the life I want. I figured out that you create the life you want the moment you do what you want — every day you do that thing, you are living the life you want.

I Finally Figured Out How to Live the Life I Want

Second, I realized that what I learned about prioritizing health also applied to writing: Switch from “I’ll do that later” to “I’ll do this before anything else.”

I’ve Wanted to Prioritize My Health For Years and I Finally Have — With the Help of Fitbit

Once I put these two pieces together, the way to live the life I wanted became clear: I had to restructure my day.

More specifically, I’m a morning person, so I adjusted my day to take advantage of when I’m at my best. This way, I could work on the projects I care about (my own writing projects) when I’m fresh, and use what’s left over on things that are still important but lower priority (my day job).

I’ve actually wanted to make this change for a while but, for two main reasons, changing my morning routine to make time for writing wasn’t as simple as it sounds. One, waking up earlier wasn’t a viable option because I already woke up around 6am. And two, due to a previous manager, I felt so much pressure to start work right away that I couldn’t do anything beyond the bare minimum before work in the morning.

As a result, here’s what my typical work day used to look like:

1. Roll out of bed around 6am.
2. Do bathroom things.
3. Immediately sign in to work.
4. Eat lunch at my desk.
5. Sign off work around 2pm.
6. Sit on the couch and watch TV.
7. Think about writing or working on my own projects.
8. Be too tired to write or say I would do it later.
9. Continue sitting on the couch instead.
10. Feel guilty for not writing.
11. Keep sitting on the couch.

The negative effect of this structure was twofold: I was not writing, and I was also not enjoying the activity that was supposed to be relaxing. I believe being a couch potato can be a form of self-care when that’s truly what’s most supportive in that moment. But when I was stuck in the cycle I described above, I wasn’t able to relax because of the guilt, so being a potato wasn’t self-care at all.

The first step to adjusting my mornings was a discussion with my boss about changing my work schedule. She was totally supportive, but even with my manager’s official blessing, I struggled with those old habits and the pressure to be available as soon as I’m awake.

Yet I was determined to make it work this time. It took a while, but here’s how I rearranged my day to make sure I had time and energy for the things that matter to me.

Start slow and small

I actually made my first attempt at this in January: I started work a couple hours later for 2 days and decided I didn’t like finishing work “so late” (at 4pm), so I went back to my regular schedule.

But old habits take a while to reconfigure, so I knew I had to be patient. Since going all in right away didn’t work out, I started smaller: cuddles with kitty for a few minutes, 10 minutes of yoga, making a warm beverage.

After a while, I was able to let go of that feeling that I had to sign in at a certain time, and I saw that everything was fine at work even if I showed up a little later. So I started extending pre-work activities: longer cuddles with kitty, reading a chapter or two of a book, journaling, creative writing.

I found myself enjoying my mornings, and as an added benefit, getting up in the morning was a lot easier when I was getting out of my warm bed for me, not for work.

After a few months of this transition phase, I was ready for the next step.

Experiment for a set period of time

After making the smaller changes I described above, I admitted the initial attempt of only 2 days wasn’t enough time for a fair trial, so I committed to a longer test.

During a meeting with my team, I announced my experiment for the month of August: I would shift my work day 2 hours later than usual. My team was wonderfully supportive, and unintentionally, making this announcement helped motivate me to stick with the experiment for the prescribed amount of time. If I hadn’t made that announcement to my teammates, I might’ve tried the new schedule for another few days and quit like the first time.

The purpose of the experiment was to test if:

• Writing in the morning would work for my creative process.
• I could get used to signing in to my day job for a later shift.

Calling it an experiment and knowing I could go back to the way things were if I genuinely didn’t like it was an important part of the experiment. And 31 days seemed long enough to be able to tell if I liked it but short enough that it didn’t feel overwhelming to start. I might’ve needed more or less time if I was making different changes.

Stick to your experiment, but leave space for flexibility

During that experimental month, I did have a few days here and there when I worked the earlier shift because of appointments I’d made prior. Other than that, I stuck to my new schedule — but I was flexible with both the time and tasks.

Time: If I felt satisfied with what I’d done and reached a good stopping point early, I would sign in to work sooner than scheduled. Or if I slept in and only had one hour before I was supposed to sign in to work, I would play it by ear; maybe I would start later or only use the time I had before starting my day job.

Tasks: I didn’t want to get trapped in the idea that only certain types of activities “count” in the morning, so I was flexible with what I did with my time. The point of this experiment was to write before work, but I could also do something tangentially related to the craft of writing, like reading a book about writing structure. I would even sometimes journal or write a blog in the morning if I didn’t feel like working on a larger writing project that day.

The point was to make time for myself and what I wanted to do in the morning, so as long as it wasn’t for my job, I felt good about it. If I were super rigid about the experiment, I don’t think I would’ve been able to switch my schedule.

For this experiment, the details were less important than the practice to help me adjust my brain and body to something new.

Reflect on the experience

I was surprised and also not surprised by my experiment.

Adjusting to working later was, as expected, a little annoying. I was used to signing off work around 2pm and having plenty of time to relax before dinner and bedtime. It’s still pretty early, but 4pm felt like so much later. By the time I was off work and gone for a walk, it was basically time for dinner and then only a few hours before bed. It was weird since I’d been working an early shift for maybe 10 years. But now I’ve more or less gotten used to the later schedule, and 4pm doesn’t feel too late when I’m already done with my personal stuff.

Here are some awesome benefits I noticed:

• I’m writing more than ever.
• I’m more likely to take breaks during my work day instead powering through 8 consecutive hours.
• I can focus better at work with my own projects done for the day.
• I can genuinely relax for the day when I sign off work.

In closing

The experiment was totally successful. I confirmed that I could write in the hours before work and get used to working a later shift. I also have the option to write or do other things after work too, if I want.

One challenge to writing before work is that I have a hard time switching gears; sometimes I want to just keep writing my own stuff. But it also feels kind of good to stop when I still want to do it. Then I look forward to going back to writing.

Now I dedicate my mornings to writing or doing other things that are just for me. I maintain flexibility, and the best part is, I feel deep satisfaction that my actions each day reflect the life I want to live and the person I want to be.

And after work, I can truly relax and stretch out because I’ve already done my own projects and don’t feel guilty when I want to just rest.

The Limitations of NaNoWriMo and Why I Still Play Along

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Feature photo by Luca from Pixabay